i wish i was friends with someone in my neighborhood so i could randomly call them up and be like ‘yo i know its 3am but do you wanna walk around aimlessly for a little while’
Maybe I am maybelline
if any website should have a post limit it should be facebook
I think the author of 50 shades of grey should write another trilogy instead of a straight couple,with a lesbian couple just bc lesbians
I dont think the author of fifty shades of grey should write any porn again ever
Me: “What browser are you on?”
Me: “Google Chrome?”
Client: “No, just regular Google.”
Me: “That’s the site. I want to know the browser.”
Client: “Look, we can have this conversation forever, man. But when I hit the internet logo, Google comes up!”
Me: “Okay…What does that “internet logo” look like?
Client: “…A fiery fox, I guess. But that’s irrelevant.”
"i’ll be speaking with my lawyer" is the adult version of saying "im telling mom"